Epiphany - Poem by Joanie Mackowski

 

EPIPHANY

A momentary rupture to the vision: 

the wavering limbs of a birch fashion

the fluttering hem of the deity’s garment,

the cooling cup of coffee the ocean the deity

waltzes across. This is enough—but sometimes

the deity’s heady ta-da coaxes the cherries

in our mental slot machine to line up, and

our brains summon flickering silver like

salmon spawning a river; the jury decides

in our favour, and we’re free to see, for now.

A flaw swells from the facets of a day, increasing

the day’s value; a freakish postage stamp mails

our envelope outside time; hairy, claw-like

magnolia buds bloom from bare branches;

and the deity pops up again like a girl from

a giant cake. O deity: you transfixing transgressor,

translating back and forth on the border

without a passport. Fleeing revolutions

of same-old simultaneous boredom and

boredom, we hoard epiphanies under the bed,

stuff them in jars and bury them in the backyard;

we cram our closet with sunrise; prop up our feet

and drink gallons of wow!; we visit the doctor

because all this is raising the blood’s levels of

c6h3(oh)2chohch2nhch3, the heart caught

in the deity’s hem and haw, the oh unfurling

from our chest like a bee from our cup of coffee,

an autochronous greeting: there. Who saw it?

 

Joanie V. Mackowski is an American poet. She has published three volumes of poetry, and her works have won multiple awards. She taught creative writing on the faculty of the English department of Cornell University.

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Paul McCartney's Dream

Paul was going through a difficult time, working hard and dealing with tensions in The Beatles that would eventually lead to the group splitting up, He writes:

"I fell asleep exhausted one day and had a dream in which my mum (who had died just over 10 years previously) did in fact come to me. When you dream about seeing someone you've lost, even though it's sometimes just for a few seconds, it really does feel like they’re right there with you and it's as if they've always been there. My mum was very reassuring. In this dream, seeing my mum's beautiful, kind face and being with her in a peaceful place was very comforting. I immediately felt at ease and loved and protected. My mum is very reassuring and like so many women often are, she was also able to keep our family going. She kept our spirits up. She seemed to realise I was worried about what was going on in my life and what would happen, and she said to me. 

"Everything will be alright. Let it be."

As far as religion goes, I'm obviously influenced by Christianity. But there are many great teachings in all the religions. I'm not particularly religious in any conventional sense, but I do believe in the idea there is some sort of higher force that can help us. So this song becomes a prayer, or mini prayer. There's a yearning somewhere at its heart, the word amen itself means. 

So be it or let it be.

When I find myself in times of trouble
Mother Mary comes to me
Speaking words of wisdom
Let it be
And in my hour of darkness
She is standing right in front of me
Speaking words of wisdom
Let it be

Paul Mccartney / John Lennon

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John Donne's Vision

John Donne (1571 or 1572 – 31 March 1631) was an English poet, scholar, soldier and secretary, born into a recusant family, who later became a cleric in the Church of England. He married Anne More in 1601 when she was 17 and he was 30 or 31.

Wikipedia Page

Donne had gone to Paris (1612) at about the same time as his wife Anne, was about to give birth to their eighth child in London. 

Izaac Walton records in his biography of Donne:

“Two days after their arrival there, Mr Donne was left alone, in the room in which Sir Robert [Drury], and he, and some friends had dined together. To this place Sir Robert returned within half an hour and he  found Mr Donne alone; but, in such ecstasy, and so altered as to his looks, as amazed Sir Robert to behold him: insomuch that he earnestly desired Mr. Donne to declare what had befallen him in the short time of his absence? To which Mr Donne was not able to make present answer: but after a long and perplexed pause, did at last say:

I have seen a dreadful vision since I saw you: I have seen my dear wife passed twice by me through this room with her hair hanging about her shoulders, and a dead child in her arms: this I have seen since I saw you. 

To which Sir Robert replied, Surely Sir, you have slept since I saw you, and this is a result of some melancholy dream which I desire you to forget for you are now awake. To which Mr Donne's reply was: 

I cannot be surer that I now live than that I have not slept since I saw you: and am as sure that at her second appearing, she stopped and looked me in the face and vanished.

He sent a messenger to London the next morning. The man returned 12 days later. Anne, he said, had borne a stillborn child the same day and about the very hour that Mr Donne affirmed he saw her pass by him in his chamber.

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A Personal Epiphany

First Commitment  

When I was about 15 years old, I attended a service in which those who wished to commit themselves to Christ were invited to come forward during the singing of the last hymn. I think about three or four of us did. I can’t say I felt any great emotion at the time, it was more a decision of the will rather than the heart, along the lines of: “If I’m going to be a Christian, I’d better give it my best shot”. However, it was undoubtably a fork in the road. A statement of intent.

Some of my school friends were in the congregation and they looked at me with curiosity at school the following week, expecting some signs of improvement or even sainthood perhaps. They were disappointed. Nothing had changed.

An Outsider

In the summer of 1963, before I went to Uni. I signed up as a worker to The Derwent Convention at Cliff College in Derbyshire.

Cliff College was an evangelical training college for Methodist ministers. The Methodism I knew was staid middle-of-the-road and certainly not evangelical. The college motto was and still is, “Christ For All, All For Christ”. People descended on the college from all over the country, staying in various types of accommodation for a week of meetings, services, and recreation. The workers, mostly students, were there to serve the meals, wash up and keep the place clean and tidy, but they could also attend the meetings in their free time.

When I arrived, I soon discovered that my fellow workers had a faith much more real and vibrant than mine. I felt like an outsider at a party.

The first stint of duty was in a large dining hall for the opening meal. The hall was filled by the convention guests, seated at long trestle tables. When everyone had arrived and all was quiet, the master of ceromonies said,"Let's stand and give thanks". He began a hymn and then the hall filled with an explosion of song, heads were lifted, eyes were shining, every voice sang out in full volume. The hall seemed to shake. I’d never experienced anything like it. I had goose bumps. I knew then these people had something I didn’t have, and I wanted it – badly!

Re-dedication

Tuesday evening of the convention was always a re-dedication service for those who wanted to make a fresh start to their Christian life. I determine to go and make my own fresh start. That afternoon I went for a walk with a friend to look at the Well-dressing at the village of Stoney Middleton about two miles away. Well-dressing is a Derbyshire tradition - Derbyshire Well Dressings . It was a lovely, sunny day. We admired the well-dressing and then went into the nearby church. I sat in a pew and let God know I wanted to start again. I shed a few tears.

Epiphany

That evening, I sat with my fellow workers near the back of the meeting marquee. The service proceeded in the normal way. I don’t remember anything about it, I was just waiting for the end and the re-dedication moment. The speaker announced the last hymn. He asked the congregation to remain seated until the last verse but invited those who wished to re-dedicate themselves to stand during the first verse and then make their way out to the front. The hymn was “Love Divine, All loves excelling”. I decided I would stand at the end of the first line. When the piano struck the first chord, Pauline, one of the workers, stood immediately. I can see her now in her white dress, sitting two seats away from me. I stood too and we made our way along the row and into the aisle. Nothing in the service had been out of the ordinary. Nothing to stir my heart or emotions. As I walked out to the front the congregation were singing the last line of the first verse: “Enter every trembling heart”, and at that moment I began to shake. I couldn’t stop. I felt very visible and very embarrassed.

At the end of the hymn, the service was brought to a close and those of us who had gone forward were led away to a room for prayer. I sat at a table opposite a man. I’ve no memory of him or anything he said. I suppose he prayed for me. I left the room and outside my fellow workers were waiting. As I went to hug them, I suddenly felt totally full of love as though pure love, the real thing, had been poured into me. It was extraordinary. Love not just for my friends but somehow, it’s ridiculous to write this, love for everyone, for the whole world.

That was my epiphany.

The love did not remain. I wasn’t mine. It was a brief revelation of love’s endless source.

The rest of that week felt very different, as though I had been outside a house, looking in through the windows but now I was inside. I had knocked and the door had opened. I wanted to stay with those people, enjoying their fellowship and shared faith, but the end of the week came, and we went our separate ways back to normal life.

A word of caution.

What happened was an emotional experience and emotions are not to be trusted. As far as I’m aware I wasn’t in any emotional state in the meeting, which was conducted in Methodist fashion, soberly with no hype. I had shed tears in the church in the afternoon, but that emotion had passed. I expected nothing more in the meeting than putting down another marker, a fresh start. What happened was unexpected.

So, was it real or just my brain hallucinating. To me it was real but then I cannot separate myself from my brain. People may find my experience interesting, but I don’t expect anyone to agree with my interpretation.

What Remains

That moment has always stayed with me. I wish I could say It made me a more loving person, but sadly no, I am like most people, I love a little and should love more. Many love far more generously, far more deeply and far more constantly. Yet it was important. It showed me that love is far bigger than we think of it or experience. And that the greatest thing we can do with our lives is not to seek money or status but to love as much as we can and seek to love more.

I am no-longer a signed-up member of any church but I do believe in the teachings of Jesus and in a limited way I am his disciple. I also believe there is a source of inexhaustible love, that somehow exists beyond our senses and is available to all no matter what their beliefs. I don’t want to give it a name because words are inadequate and restrict. However, I do think when Jesus speaks of The Kingdom of Heaven this is what he meant, so I can pray:

 “Your Kingdom Come”.

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Davy Vanauken - journey to faith

Introduction

This is an account of how Jean (Davy) Vanauken became a Christian. It does not involve any great moment of revelation but was a process unfolding over a few years. 

Her story is told in A Severe Mercy (1977) by her husband Sheldon Vanauken. Extracts below in italics are from the book.

When Davy and Sheldon began their relationship that in time led to their marriage, they erected what they called “The Shining Barrier” within which they would share everything and at the same time keep the rest of the world at bay.

Sheldon Vanuken does not include in the book a very important part of Davy’s youth. Her father was Methodist minister who died when she was 12. Two years later she gave birth to a daughter who she named Marion. The baby was given up for adoption, but Davy never forgot her. It is very likely that this experience played a part in the journey to faith she was to take.

All The World Fell Away

A Severe Mercy recounts an incident in a park where Davy was reading a book and a man exposed himself to her. She outran him and was not molested but was naturally deeply upset. Sheldon writes:

I came home to find her face streaked with tears and she clung to me desperately and wept. It was some time before she could try to tell me what had happened. The two lines she wrote next day of a poem that was never completed are the beginning point:

All the world fell away last night
Leaving you, only you and fright.

Her sins, she said, had come out and paraded before her, ghastly in appearance and mocking in demeanour. What sins? What sins could this eager, loving creature have committed? Not sins as the world counts sins. No one person had she murdered. Not one gold ingot stolen. No unfaithfulness, no secret drinking, no dishonesty, no sloth, no kicking dogs. But sometimes she'd been grouchy or snappish. She had said cruel things to people. …... Now her words haunted her. Sin. She knew there was such a thing as plain sin. Not something any psychiatrist could absolve or explain away. Even worse, the sins of omission. She quoted some poet whose name she did not know. “O, unattempted loveliness. O costly valour never won”. (Poem below)

She was shaken to the depths. Shaken as I had never known her to be. I knew it had been a huge and dreadful experience. But how could I understand? I who had never known the like. …... …I know now, of course that she had experienced the classical conviction of sin. Christianity knows all about it. But I didn't know all about Christianity.

The Sin Picture

Davy enjoyed drawing and painting. She painted a tree in a meadow near their house.

Then she did another of the tree recognisably the same tree, black and bare of leaves. But the meadow had given way to a dream landscape of rocks and earthen cliffs. In the cliffs were caves out of which grotesque and even fiendish faces leered. In the foreground was the tree and near it a wraithlike female figure -the soul beyond doubt - groped as though unable to see clearly towards the tree: the tree whose massive branch cast on the bare earth the shadow of the crucified Messiah. The Shadow of a Tree. The picture grew, of course, out of that experience of all the world falling away. And we called it lightly, her sin picture.

Oxford – Christians - CS Lewis

Not long after the end of WWII they moved from the USA to Oxford so Sheldon could study for a BLitt degree. They were still atheists but in Oxford came across many Christians who became friends. Gradually as they met and talked with them, they were impressed not just by their explanations of their faith but by the lives they lived. Davy and Sheldon began to take the possibility of faith more seriously. They were also strongly influenced by the writings of CS Lewis who was an Oxford Don. Sheldon started a correspondence with Lewis. They realised they were coming closer and closer to the point where a decision would have to be made.

Decision

Sheldon describes his own questions and doubts as he thought about becoming a Christian.

But Davy’s emotional position was not the same. There was need. What we talked about mostly were the intellectual things that can be put into words so much more easily than feelings, especially feelings that are not perhaps altogether known to oneself. But there were for Davy needs growing out of sin and pain. She had not forgotten, of course, that night when all the world fell away. The experience she painted in her sin picture with this prophetic shadow of the crucified Lord. Even then, intuitively she had known what it all pointed to. That experience and the very different one of the evil man in the park. The frightful evil of the monstrous ego had, I think, undermined her confidence in herself and even perhaps undermined her confidence in the beautiful us-sufficiency of our love. But she didn't know it, nor did I. But the Shining Barrier was not quite invulnerable.

Christianity was offering consolation and assurance and even absolution. It fell into her soul as the water of life. One evening, after a lively discussion of the faith. I asked Davy if she felt she was near to believing that Christ was God. She said. “Well, I think he might be”. She put this exchange in her journal. And then she wrote underneath, “I kept wanting to say. I do. I do believe in Jesus. Jesus, the Son of God and divine”. She was on the brink indeed. And then she leaped. Only two days later, she wrote.

Today. Crossing from one side of the room to the other. I lumped together all I am all fear, hate, love, hope and well. DID it. I committed my ways to God in Christ.

A few weeks later Sheldon took his own leap of faith.

Afterward

They returned to the USA but a few years later, on January 17, 1955 Davy died of a viral infection. She was 40 years old, and they had been married for seventeen years.

Sheldon Vanauken died of lung cancer on October 28, 1996. Wikipedia entry here

Sheldon Vanauken – another link

A Severe Mercy comments etc here

GUILTY, by MARGUERITE WILKINSON

I never cut my neighbor's throat;
My neighbor's gold I never stole;
I never spoiled his house and land;
But God have mercy on my soul!

For I am haunted night and day
By all the deeds I have not done;
O unattempted loveliness!
O costly valor never won!

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Epiphany: NDE: Dr Eben Alexander

American neurosurgeon Dr Eben Alexander claims that he reunited with his sister in the afterlife.

Full story here: Top doctor who fell into coma

The medic's life changed forever in November 2008 when he woke up one morning with a 'searing headache' while working at the Lynchburg General Hospital in Virginia.

"Within a few hours, I went into a coma: my neocortex, the part of the brain that handles all the thought processes making us human, had shut down completely," he explained.

It was determined that Alexander was suffering from bacterial meningitis, which was 'eating into his brain like acid' and inflaming his spinal cord - and his chances at survival were little to none.

Dr Eben Alexander used to be 'skeptical' about the afterlife until his brush with death

The academic, who taught brain science at Harvard Medical School, was experiencing seizures, and doctors decided to place him into a medically-induced coma to give his body a chance to recuperate, even though the prognosis didn't look good.

"Scans showed no conscious activity whatever - my brain was not malfunctioning, it was completely unplugged. But my inner self still existed, in defiance of all the known laws of science."

Alexander admitted his line of work had made him 'skeptical' about patients claiming they had experienced out-of-body experiences, angelic encounters and hallucinations, as he believed it was the brain's way of coping with trauma.

"And then, in the most dramatic circumstances possible, I discovered proof that I was wrong,"

 

What he saw

After slipping into the coma, he recalls feeling as though he was in a 'primitive, primordial state that felt like being buried in earth' - but he was aware this was not the world he was familiar with as he sensed, heard and saw 'other entities'.

"After an expanse of time had passed, though I can't begin to guess how long, a light came slowly down from above, throwing off marvellous filaments of living silver and golden effulgence. "It was a circular entity, emitting a beautiful, heavenly music that I called the Spinning Melody.

"The light opened up like a rip in the fabric of that coarse realm, and I felt myself going through the rip, up into a valley full of lush and fertile greenery, where waterfalls flowed into crystal pools.

It was paradise, and Alexander wanted to travel into it 'deeper and deeper'. He describes heaven as being as 'vast, various and populated as Earth', but says that 'nothing is isolated, alienated or disconnected' there, adding: "Everything is one."

Alexander explained that while soaking up the sheer beauty of the place, he eventually encountered an 'infinitely powerful' deity who he referred to as Om, who served as his guide.

"She was an extraordinarily beautiful woman who first appeared as I rode, as that speck of awareness, on the wing of that butterfly," he said. "I'd never seen this woman before. I didn't know who she was.

"Yet her presence was enough to heal my heart, to make me whole in a way I'd never known was possible. Her face was unforgettable.

Without actually speaking, she let me know that I was loved and cared for beyond measure and that the universe was a vaster, better, and more beautiful place than I could ever have dreamed.

Meanwhile, he'd been in a coma for a week and showed no signs of improvement, prompting doctors to consider whether they should turn his life support off - but he then suddenly regained consciousness.

"My eyes just popped open, and I was back. I had no memories of my earthly life but knew full well where I had been," he explained. "I had to relearn everything: who, what, and where I was.

After his near-death experience, he felt like a 'different person' due to the things he had experienced, and he found it especially difficult to get Om off his mind.

But everything made sense when the doctor, who was adopted as a child, received a letter four months later.

Alexander explained he remembered nothing of his birth family and grew up not knowing that he had a biological sister, Betsy until he later went in search of his parents. "But for Betsy it was too late: she had died," the medic said. One of his relatives, whom he had been in touch with, sent Alexander a photograph of his sister, which solidified his alleged afterlife experience — Betsy was the woman he had encountered.

"The shock of recognition was total," Alexander added. "The moment I realised this, something crystallised inside me. "That photo was the confirmation that I'd needed. This was proof, beyond reproach, of the objective reality of my experience.

"From then on, I was back in the old, earthly world I'd left behind before my coma struck, but as a genuinely new person. I had been reborn."

Comment

NDE's are controversial. What are we to make of them? Wise words from Albert Einstein:

“A man should look for what is, and not what he thinks should be.”

How we see and understand the world is controlled by our brain.The human brain has about 86 billion neurons. Each of those neurons can have thousands of connections, making our brains incredibly complex. 

"We do not see things as they are, we see things as we are" (Talmud)

Not suprisingly there is no definitive scientific explanation for NDE's. Medics and psychologists have theories about what the science might be behind NDE's but by their nature repeat experiments are impossible. So it's difficult to follow Einstein's dictum in these cases.

Scientific American: what-near-death-experiences-reveal-about-the-brain

Some NDE's are not positive and can be accompanied by fear.

Those who experience a positive NDE, and there are thousands who do, will need no convincing. The rest of us must choose whether these are evidence of an after-life or simply our brain doing it's own thing.

The NDE Researech Foundation website is a database of over 5000 reported NDE's

www.nderf.org/

Study of 1000 NDE's here Near-Death Experiences Evidence for Their Reality

Conclusion from this study

The combination of the preceding nine lines of evidence converges on the conclusion that near-death experiences are medically inexplicable. Any one or several of the nine lines of evidence would likely be reasonably convincing to many, but the combination of all of the presented nine lines of evidence provides powerful evidence that NDEs are, in a word, real.

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Epiphany: NDE: Anita Moorjani

Anita Moorjani, a best-selling author and speaker

Anita Moorjani, had a near-death experience (NDE) in 2006 while suffering from terminal cancer. During this experience, she encountered a divine presence and felt an overwhelming sense of love and understanding. This profound epiphany led to her miraculous recovery and a complete transformation in her outlook on life.

The following are some extracts from her online account of her NDE. The full story can be read here:

Anita's Account from her website

On the morning of February 2, 2006, after four heart-wrenching years with cancer, my body had finally had enough and I went into a coma.

As my husband rushed me to the hospital, the world around me started to appear surreal and dreamlike, and I could feel myself slip further and further from consciousness.

The moment I arrived and the oncologist saw me, her face visibly filled with shock. “Your wife’s heart may still be beating,” she told Danny, “but she’s not really there. It’s too late to save her. 

I watched as Danny’s face filled with anguish, and I wanted to cry out to him, It’s okay, darling—I’m okay! Please don’t worry. Don’t listen to the doctor. I actually feel great! But I couldn’t. No words came out. No sound. Danny couldn’t hear me.

In this near-death state, I was more acutely aware of all that was going on around me than I’d ever been in a normal physical state. I wasn’t using my five biological senses, yet I was keenly taking everything in. It was as though another, completely different type of perception kicked in, and I seemed to encompass everything that was happening, as though I was slowly merging with it all.

I continued to sense myself expanding farther and farther outward, drawing away from my physical surroundings. It was as though I were no longer restricted by the confines of space and time, and I continued to spread myself out to occupy a greater expanse of consciousness. I simultaneously experienced a sense of joy mixed with a generous sprinkling of jubilation and happiness.

I felt all my emotional attachments to my loved ones and my surroundings slowly fall away. What I can only describe as superb and glorious unconditional love surrounded me, wrapping me tight as I continued to let go.

The feeling of complete, unconditional love was unlike anything I’d known before. It was totally undiscriminating, as if I didn’t have to do anything to deserve it, nor did I need to prove myself to earn it.

To my amazement, I became aware of the presence of my father, who’d died ten years earlier. 

I also recognized the essence of my best friend, Soni, who’d died of cancer three years prior. I seemed to know that they’d both been present with me long before I became aware of them, all through my illness.

I was aware of other beings around me. I didn’t recognize them, but I knew they loved me very much and were protecting me. I realized that they, too, had been with me all this time, surrounding me with love, even when I wasn’t conscious of it.

My heightened awareness and feelings of unconditional love in that expanded realm were indescribable, despite my best efforts to explain them.

Why do I suddenly understand all this? I wanted to know. Who’s giving me this information? Is it God? Krishna? Buddha? Jesus?

And then I was overwhelmed by the realization that God isn’t a being, but a state of being... and I was now in that state of being.

Comment

NDE's are controversial. What are we to make of them? Wise words from Albert Einstein:

“A man should look for what is, and not what he thinks should be.”

How we see and understand the world is controlled by our brain.The human brain has about 86 billion neurons. Each of those neurons can have thousands of connections, making our brains incredibly complex. 

"We do not see things as they are, we see things as we are" (Talmud)

Not suprisingly there is no definitive scientific explanation for NDE's. Medics and psychologists have theories about what the science might be behind NDE's but by their nature repeat experiments are impossible. So it's difficult to follow Einstein's dictum in these cases.

Scientific American: what-near-death-experiences-reveal-about-the-brain

Some NDE's are not positive and can be accompanied by fear.

Those who experience a positive NDE, and there are thousands who do, will need no convincing. The rest of us must choose whether these are evidence of an after-life or simply our brain doing it's own thing.

The NDE Researech Foundation website is a database of over 5000 reported NDE's

www.nderf.org/

Study of 1000 NDE's here Near-Death Experiences Evidence for Their Reality

Conclusion from this study

The combination of the preceding nine lines of evidence converges on the conclusion that near-death experiences are medically inexplicable. Any one or several of the nine lines of evidence would likely be reasonably convincing to many, but the combination of all of the presented nine lines of evidence provides powerful evidence that NDEs are, in a word, real.

Read More

Epiphany: Novalis

Georg Philipp Friedrich Freiherr von Hardenberg (2 May 1772 – 25 March 1801) also known as Novalis

Wikipedia entry

Friedrich Freiherr von Hardenberg was a young, German romantic, searching for meaning. On the one hand there was religion, philosophy and poetic imagination, on the other were his studies in mathematics, chemistry and the operation of  salt mines. 

In 1795 he fell in love with a 12 year old girl, Sophie von Kuhn. He arranged to marry her when she was sixteen, but she died shortly after her 15th birthday. Her death left him distraught.

Epiphanies

On a Journey

He wrote: We think we know the laws that govern our existence. We get glimpses, perhaps only once or twice in a lifetime of a totally different system at work behind them. One day, when I was reading between Rippach and Lutzen, I felt the certainty of immortality, like the touch of a hand……As things are, we are the enemies of the world and foreigners to this earth.

Vision of a young man in the church yard: 

He said aloud. The external world is the world of shadows. It throws its shadows into the Kingdom of Light. How different they will appear when this darkness is gone, and the shadow-body has passed away. The universe, after all, is within us. The way leads inwards always inwards.

These brief moments when it seems another world breaks into normal existence are epiphanies that left him with a deep, unsatisfied longing.

Vision at Sophie's grave 

From Hymns to The Night:

Once when I was shedding bitter tears, when, dissolved in pain, my hope was melting away, and I stood alone by the barren mound which in its narrow dark bosom hid the vanished form of my life, lonely as never yet was lonely man, driven by anxiety unspeakable, powerless, and no longer anything but a conscious misery. 

As there I looked about me for help, unable to go on or to turn back, and clung to the fleeting, extinguished life with an endless longing: then, out of the blue distances from the hills of my ancient bliss, came a shiver of twilight and at once snapped the bond of birth the chains of the Light. Away fled the glory of the world, and with it my mourning the sadness flowed together into a new, unfathomable world 

Thou, Night-inspiration, heavenly Slumber, didst come upon me the region gently upheaved itself; over it hovered my unbound, newborn spirit. The mound became a cloud of dust and through the cloud I saw the glorified face of my beloved. In her eyes eternity reposed  I laid hold of her hands, and the tears became a sparkling bond that could not be broken. 

Into the distance swept by, like a tempest, thousands of years. On her neck I welcomed the new life with ecstatic tears. It was the first, the only dream and just since then I have held fast an eternal, unchangeable faith in the heaven of the Night, and its Light, the Beloved.

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A World Beyond

Introduction

The purpose of this blog is to ask:

• do human beings have a spiritual as well as a physical nature?
• do near death experiences and profound epiphanies point to a spiritual realm beyond the physical?
• does the persistence of religion in the modern world point to a spiritual reality?
• are there other indicators?

I also argue that the spiritual life is unique to the individual and does not have to involve religous beliefs.

Homo religiosus 

In the caverns of Lascaux in France there are 30,000 year old cave paintings that clearly show this early human society was involved in rituals, an expression of religious belief. Karen Armstrong begins her book "The Case for God" with these paintings. She discusses the importance of myth and ritual in shaping human understanding, and the role of religion in helping people make sense of their existence and the mysteries of life. She titles this chapter, Homo religiosus to develop the idea there is more to Homo sapiens than the merely physical, and despite thousands of years of human history and the scientific revolution, religious belief is still firmly embedded in the human race. Why should this be? Science tells us we are only complex biological machines so do we pretend we have a spiritual side because we can’t face an uncomfortable truth, or is our spiritual nature actually as real as our DNA?

If the word "spiritual" does represent some kind of non-physical reality must we accept there is a God? Not at all, there is a big problem with the G-word.

The Problem with the G-word.

In her Introduction to The Case for God, Armstrong writes: 

God is not a being at all. And that we really don't know what we mean when we say he is good, wise or intelligent. People of faith… sometimes assume they know exactly who He is and what He thinks, loves, and expects. We tend to tame and domesticate God's otherness. We regularly ask God to bless our nation. Save our Queen, cure our sickness, or give us a fine day for the picnic. We remind God that He created the world and that we are miserable sinners, as though this may have slipped His mind. 

Here we have the nub of the problem. The word “God” means what exactly? 

In “The Christian Agnostic”, Leslie Weatherhead, a Methodist minister, began the chapter “God and Guesses” as follows: 

There is something almost ludicrous in sitting down at a desk and writing the word God at the top of a sheet of paper and then being presumptuous enough to add. Anything. So, the Ant or the Mouse might be imagined sitting down to write about man. Having just written the word God. I feel that the most appropriate thing to do would be to leave half a dozen blank sheets of paper. … No language can do other than belittle. No words can be other than caricature. 

Weatherhead invites his readers to explore faith through personal experience and reason. 

CS Lewis, famous for the Narnia stories is a widely read Christian apologist.  In his poem, “The Footnote to All Prayers” he says he cannot comprehend the God to whom he prays: The poem begins:

He whom I bow to, only knows to whom I bow
When I attempt the ineffable Name, muttering Thou,
And dream of Pheidian fancies and embrace in heart
Symbols (I know) which cannot be the thing Thou art.

(Pheidias was an Ancient Greek sculptor, who made statues of the gods)

Weatherhead also says:

“to prove his existence is impossible if the word proved is used in any scientific, unanswerable sense. To quote authorities is futile. … There is no authority for God's existence except the inward conviction that is born of mystical experience.

All three writers are saying the very word “God” is a big problem because it cannot be defined. Dictionaries are useless – no one knows what G-O-D actually means. Weatherhead says it's like an ant or a mouse defining a human being –clearly impossible! “G” = “mystery” is the equation.

But we don’t like mystery, we want to know, and over the centuries religions with their holy books, prophets and teachers claim to have solved the G-mystery. The plain fact is, the existence of so many different faiths and the many sub-divisions in each one (45,000 in Christianity alone) demonstrates the mystery remains a mystery.

Hafiz: “Dear ones, beware of the tiny gods frightened men create to bring anaesthetic relief to their sad days”

The temptation is to agree with Stephen Fry, “Religion sod it”. There is no mystery because there is no G. But there is another approach. If we really are spiritual beings and there really is a spiritual realm then we should expect what Weatherhead calls mystical experiences - epiphanies.

Epiphanies

Epiphanies are totally unexpected, fleeting moments experienced by single individuals that have a profound impact on those who receive them, leaving an inward, unshakeable conviction. They include those “aha” moments of deep insight which open up new possibilities for a person’s life.

A N Whitehead: “only at rare intervals does the deeper and vaster world come through into conscious thought or expression, but they are the memorable moments of life. It is then, if ever, that the door to the invisible world silently swings open, and something of the wonder and greatness of the spiritual universe is flashed upon the soul.”

Roger Bacon: “Of the three ways of acquiring knowledge, authority, reasoning, and experience, only the last is effective.”

Examples of epiphanies:

• Spiritual Experiences: Many people report feeling a profound sense of connection with a higher power during meditation, prayer, or moments of deep reflection.
• Nature: Some individuals feel a divine presence when they are in nature, such as witnessing a breathtaking sunset, standing at the edge of a vast ocean, or hiking in the mountains.
• Near-Death Experiences: There are numerous accounts of people who have had near-death experiences and describe encountering a divine being or feeling a sense of peace and love.
• Acts of Kindness: Witnessing or being part of acts of kindness and compassion can sometimes feel like a divine intervention or presence.
• Art and Music: Engaging with or creating art and music can evoke a sense of the divine, as these forms of expression often tap into deep emotions and transcend everyday experiences.

These encounters can be deeply meaningful and transformative, providing individuals with a sense of purpose, peace, and connection to something greater than themselves. But though they may convince one person there is something greater than themselves, they don't convince anyone else. We all need our own epiphanies. 

Longing & Guilt

If we are spiritual beings, it would be normal for us to have a longing for spiritual fulfilment, like an exile longing for home. But do we?

Children’s literature and fantasy writing tap into this kind of longing. The conflict between good and evil is played out in the stories, hidden worlds are just a step away from our own, and children set out on heroic quests.  In Narnia it is Winter but never Christmas; the power of the White Witch must be broken, and it is children stepping into Narnia through the back of a wardrobe who bring about her downfall. In Harry Potter, Platform 93/4 is the portal to another realm where the power of Voldemort is on the rise, and in Phillip Pullman’s Dark Materials trilogy, a Subtle Knife cuts through the space-time fabric between worlds.

Is our love of these stories a pointer to our spiritual exile? It is interesting to note that Jesus said we have to become like children to enter the Kingdom of Heaven.

There are two sides to our nature, the selfish and the unselfish, that are often in conflict. We feel guilty when our selfishness prevails and our actions or words cause hurt and suffering. In Graham Greene’s The Quiet American, Fowler feels guilty that his actions caused the death of Pyle. He says, “How I wished there existed someone to whom I could say that I was sorry.”

Are the longing for something more for our lives and the desire to be free of guilt just part of the human condition or are they pointers to a spiritual self we should not ignore? 

Perhaps epiphanies and “aha” moments of illumination are times when a door swings briefly open  and a sublime Spiritual Mystery makes connection with our spirits?

A journey only you can make

Human beings are gregarious. We mostly live, work, play, and relax with other people. We join organisations, clubs, societies and so on and share our lives with others. But our spiritual journey is ours alone – it cannot be shared, and neither can we share in any other journey. 

Religions do not allow for individual journeys. They have an exclusive take on the spiritual life - it’s mostly their way or no way. Though Quakers are an exception, welcoming people with all beliefs and none. Making a spiritual journey does not mean conforming to someone else's idea of what it should be. 

Jesus spent his brief teaching ministry focussed on the individual. He preached about the Kingdom of Heaven and wanted everyone to enter it, but he knew each person had their own spiritual journey and tailored his words to meet their need. A woman collecting water from a well heard something very different from a rich young man who wanted to follow Jesus. In Jesus’ story of the Prodigal Son the father had different words for his two sons. He told a story about a lost sheep not a lost flock. When Peter, one of his followers asked him. “But Lord, what about this man?” Jesus replied, “If I will that he remains till I come, what is that to you? You follow Me." What is that to you? That man’s journey is not yours. 

Jesus didn’t conform to the rules of his own religion and poured scorn on some of the religious teachers, calling them whitewashed graves, - “You don’t enter the Kingdom of Heaven yourselves and you prevent other people from entering.”

We all have a spiritual life to lead. You don’t have to believe in God (whatever that means) or be a member of a religion to live spiritually. But you do need to make time for reading and quiet reflection, and be more aware of your spiritual nature and allow for new possibilities. 

Perhaps there will be epiphanies” and aha” moments where a door swings open and new worlds open up.

 “The longest journey Is the journey inwards, of him who has chosen his destiny, who has started upon his quest for the source of his being."  

Dag Hammarskjöld : (Sec. Gen of UN)

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Epiphany: Leslie Weatherhead

Leslie Dixon Weatherhead CBE (14 October 1893 – 5 January 1976) was an English Christian theologian in the liberal Protestant tradition. Weatherhead was noted for his preaching ministry at City Temple in London and for his books, including The Will of God, The Christian Agnostic, and Psychology, Religion, and Healing. (Wikipedia Entry)

From: The Christian Agnostic

Vauxhall Station on a murky November Saturday evening is not the setting one would choose for a revelation of God. I was a young theological student, aged 19, being sent from Richmond Theological College to take the services somewhere, I can't remember where, for some minister in a Greater London church who had fallen ill. The third-class compartment was full. I can't remember any particular thought process which may have led up to the great moment. It's just possible that I was ruminating over the sermons I had prepared and feeling what I have always felt, how inadequate they were to get over to others, what I really felt about the Christian religion and its glorious message.

But at that moment came, and when years later I read CS Lewis is surprised by Joy, I thought, yes, I know exactly how he felt. I felt like that. For a few seconds only. I suppose, the whole compartment was filled with light. This is the only way I know in which to describe the moment, for there was nothing to see at all. 

I felt caught up into some tremendous sense of being within a loving, triumphant and shining purpose. I never felt more humble. I never felt more exalted. A most curious but overwhelming sense possessed me and filled me with ecstasy. I felt that all was well for all mankind - how poor the words seem! The word “well” is so poverty stricken. All men were shining and glorious beings who in the end would enter incredible joy. 

Beauty, music, joy, love, immeasurable and a glory unspeakable. All this they would inherit. Of this they were heirs. My puny message, if I passed my exams and qualified as a minister, would contribute only an infinitesimal drop to the ocean of love and truth, which God wanted men to enjoy. But my message was of the same nature as that ocean. I was right to want to be a minister….An indescribable joy possessed me….

All this happened over 50 years ago, but even now I can see myself in the corner of that dingy third-class compartment with the feeble lights of inverted glass gas mantels overhead, and the Vauxhall platforms outside with milk cans standing there. 

In a few moments, the glory had departed. All but one curious, lingering feeling. I loved everybody in that compartment. It sounds silly now, and indeed I blush to write it. But at that moment I think I would have died for any one of the people in that compartment. They seemed - all of them - immensely lovable and valuable. I seem to sense the golden worth in them all. I knew then - and believe now - that God would not allow any one of His children finally to miss the ecstatic happiness and joy towards which every human life, in spite of a million deviations, hindrances, wrong choices and the following of false signposts, is moving. 

I knew then that I had to move along that road and that my life was to be spent in helping men and women to find the way to God, and in finding it in greater and greater measure myself.

More about Weatherhead here

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Epiphany: Bernadette Soubirous (Lourdes)

Bernadette Soubirous 7 January 1844 – 16 April 1879), also known as Bernadette of Lourdes. She was the daughter of François Soubirous (1807–1871), a miller, and his wife Louise (née Casteròt; 1825–1866), a laundress.[4] She was the eldest of nine children.  From Wikipedia (Full entry here)

Visions

On 11 February 1858, Bernadette, then aged 14, was out gathering firewood with her sister Toinette and a friend near the grotto of Massabielle when she experienced her first vision. While the other girls crossed the little stream in front of the grotto and walked on, Bernadette stayed behind, looking for a place to cross where she wouldn't get her stockings wet. She finally sat down to take her shoes off in order to cross the water and was lowering her stocking when she heard the sound of rushing wind, but nothing moved. A wild rose in a natural niche in the grotto, however, did move. From the niche, or rather the dark alcove behind it, "came a dazzling light, and a white figure". This was the first of 18 visions of what she referred to as aquerò Gascon Occitan for "that". In later testimony, she called it "a small young lady" (uo petito damizelo). 

Her sister and her friend stated that they had seen nothing.

2nd Vision

On 14 February, after Sunday Mass, Bernadette, with her sister Marie and some other girls, returned to the grotto. Soubirous knelt down immediately, saying she saw the apparition again. When one of the girls threw holy water at the niche and another threw a rock from above that shattered on the ground, the apparition disappeared. On her next visit, 18 February, Soubirous said that "the vision" asked her to return to the grotto every day for a fortnight.

Holy Fortnight

This period of almost daily visions came to be known as la Quinzaine sacrée, "holy fortnight." Initially, Bernadette's parents, especially her mother, were embarrassed and tried to forbid her to go. The supposed apparition did not identify herself until the seventeenth vision. Although the townspeople who believed she was telling the truth assumed she saw the Virgin Mary, Bernadette never claimed it to be Mary, consistently using the word aquerò. She described the lady as wearing a white veil, a blue girdle and with a yellow rose on each foot – compatible with "a description of any statue of the Virgin in a village church".

Bertnadette's story caused a sensation among the townspeople, who were divided in their opinions on whether or not she was telling the truth. Some believed her to have a mental illness and demanded she be put in an asylum.

Drink the Water

The other contents of  Bernadette's reported visions were simple and focused on the need for prayer and penance. On 25 February she explained that the vision had told her "to drink of the water of the spring, to wash in it and to eat the herb that grew there," as an act of penance. To everyone's surprise, the next day the grotto was no longer muddy but clear water flowed. On 2 March, at the thirteenth apparition, Bernadette told her family that the lady said that "a chapel should be built and a procession formed".

Immaculate Conception

The sixteenth vision, which Bernadette stated went on for over an hour, was on 25 March. According to her account, during that visitation, she again asked the woman for her name but the lady just smiled back. She repeated the question three more times and finally heard the lady say, in Gascon Occitan, "I am the Immaculate Conception" (Que soy era immaculada councepciou in Occitan). Despite being rigorously interviewed by officials of both the Catholic Church and the French government, she stuck consistently to her story.

On 7 April, Bernadette had another vision, during which her hand was apparently not burnt while being in contact with the flame of a candle for several minutes. On 8 June 1858, the mayor of Lourdes decided to barricade the grotto and put guards to prevent public access. On 16 July, Bernadette came back to see the grotto from the other side of the river and experienced her eighteenth and last apparition of the lady.

Death

Bernadette joined the Sisters of Charity in Nevers. She eventually died of a long-term illness at the age of 35 on 16 April 1879 (Easter Wednesday), while praying the Holy Rosary. On her deathbed, as she suffered from severe pain and in keeping with the Virgin Mary's admonition of "Penance, Penance, Penance," Bernadette proclaimed that "all this is good for Heaven!" Her final words were, "Blessed Mary, Mother of God, Pray for me". Bernadette's body was laid to rest in the St Joseph Chapel, in the grounds of her convent.

Comment

I have read a very scholary account of Lourdes by Ruth Harrs, tutor in Modern History at New College Oxford - details below.  It is clear that  Bernadette did not invent her visions. She was interogated by civil and church authorities and stuck to her story, including the fact that the apparition she saw was a young girl not a young woman. The church authorities nevertheless commissioned a traditional statue of the Virgin Mary to go in the new basilica at Lourdes. Bernadette rejected it as too tall and too old.

The visions and the words she heard were all inside her head and not out in the real world for anyone else to see or hear. It is perfectly possible for an individual to "see" things in the real world that are not there. I know this from personal experience of being with someone who had a problem with a brain condition that produced strange images when for a period it flared up, We would call such things hallucinations. 

Even though Bernadette's visions were an internal product of her brain the question  remains, why did they occur?

The secular and sensible answer is that she suffered some brain disturbance of unknown cause, that lasted for the period of the visions and then ceased. The faith-based answer is that her spirit received several divine epiphanies in which she received a rare communication from the "spirit" realm to her own "spirit". 

Other Visions of Mary - none of recent date!

1. Our Lady of Guadalupe: In 1531, the Virgin Mary appeared to Juan Diego, an indigenous Mexican, on the hill of Tepeyac near Mexico City. This apparition is one of the most famous and is celebrated on December 12th.
2. Our Lady of Fátima: In 1917, the Virgin Mary appeared to three shepherd children, Lucia, Jacinta, and Francisco, in Fátima, Portugal. She delivered messages and prophecies, and the site has become a major pilgrimage destination.
3. Our Lady of La Salette: In 1846, the Virgin Mary appeared to two children, Maximin Giraud and Mélanie Calvat, in La Salette, France. She delivered a message of repentance and conversion.
4. Our Lady of Knock: In 1879, the Virgin Mary, along with Saint Joseph and Saint John the Evangelist, appeared to a group of villagers in Knock, Ireland. This apparition is unique because it was a silent vision with no spoken messages

"Lourdes: Body and Spirit in the Secular Age" by Ruth Harris 

This  is a comprehensive historical account of the famous shrine in Lourdes, France. Harris, an Oxford historian, delves into the development of Lourdes as a major pilgrimage site and its impact on both believers and nonbelievers.

The book explores the initial skepticism of the Catholic Church regarding Bernadette Soubirous' visions and the subsequent establishment of a Medical Board to evaluate claims of miraculous healing. Harris argues that the growth of Lourdes was not a result of political or clerical orchestration but rather a spontaneous outlet for social aspirations that could not find expression in the secular or religious institutions of the time.

Harris provides a revisionist interpretation, challenging the assumptions of 19th-century positivists and highlighting the complex interplay between faith, science, and society. The book is well-researched and skillfully narrated, offering a nuanced perspective on the phenomenon of Lourdes.

(AI generated review) 

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Epiphany: Thomas Merton

Thomas Merton was an American Trappist monk, writer, theologian, mystic, poet, social activist and scholar of comparative religion. He was a monk in the Trappist Abbey of Our Lady of Gethsemani, near Bardstown, Kentucky, living there from 1941 to his death.

Merton became a keen proponent of interfaith understanding, exploring Eastern religions through study and practice. He pioneered dialogue with prominent Asian spiritual figures including the Dalai Lama, Japanese writer D. T. Suzuki, Thai Buddhist monk Buddhadasa, and Vietnamese monk Thich Nhat Hanh.

From his journal of April 29th 1940, Camaguey Cuba

(Merton was attending a mass and a group of children had entered the church and filled the first 5 or 6 rows of pews.)

High up behind the altar Saint Francis raised his arms up to God, showing the stigmata in his hands. The children began to sing. Their voices were very clear, they sang loud, their song soared straight up into the roof with a strong and direct flight and fill the whole church with its clarity. Then when the song was done and the warning bell for consecration chimed in with the last notes of the hymn, and the church filled with the vast rumour of people going down on their knees everywhere in it, then the priest seemed to be standing in the exact centre of the universe. 

The bell rang again three times.

Before any head was raised again, the clear cry of the brother in the brown robe cut through the silence with the words Yo Creo, “I believe”, which immediately all the children took up after him with such loud and strong and clear voices and such unanimity and such meaning and fervour that something went off inside me like a thunderclap and without seeing anything, or apprehending anything extraordinary through any of my senses, (my eyes were open only on precisely what was there in the church) I knew with the most absolute and unquestionable certainty that before me, between me and the altar, somewhere in the centre of the church, up in the air (or any other place, because in no place) but directly before my eyes, or directly present to some apprehension or other of mine, which was above that of the senses, was at the same time God in all his essence, all his power, God in the flesh and God in himself, and God surrounded by the radiant faces of the thousands and millions, the uncountable numbers of saints contemplating His glory and praising His holy name. The unshakable certainty, the clear and immediate knowledge that Heaven was right in front of me struck me like a thunderbolt and went through me like a flash of lightning and seemed to lift me clean up off the earth.

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